I do not consider my father a good person.
My father had a disease that made him drink too much.
I just want to remember my father in the past and think about what kind of person my father was.
My father was a man who didn’t talk much and was quiet.
Also, he always wore a coveralls.
In addition to alcohol, he smoked cigarettes.
My father preached to me only a little.
My father graduated from a local high school and went to work for a company in the city.
Then he met and married my mother and I was born.
My father seemed to like getting various driver’s licenses.
He also had special licenses that he did not use for everyday or work purposes.
I have several certifications that I don’t even use in my daily/work life as well.
I was a little surprised to notice the resemblance to
my father.
I used to think that my idea of increasing what I could do was my own.
But perhaps I got this idea from watching my father try when I was very young.
When I was in high school, my father began drinking on the job.
My mother also suffered considerable heartache.
Usually at home you can relax, but at our house there was a lot of tension.
My mother had to stop my father from drinking.
I mentioned earlier that my father was a quiet man, but not when he was inebriated.
Why did my father drink so much alcohol every day?
I could ask him myself, but I would like to speculate here.
At the very least, drinking on the job is out of the norm.
He hated his job?
Did he hate his life, which was not alternative no matter how many years he worked?
Did he want his wife and I to notice that he was hurting?
I don’t think my father and mother talked much.
I don’t remember seeing my father and mother having a pleasant chat when I was in middle and high school.
This makes me wonder why my father and mother got married.
My father didn’t talk much.
Also, my mother could not understand my father, or
Maybe she didn’t try to understand him.
If that were the case, even if my father had summoned up the courage to speak honestly to my mother about his feelings, she would not have understood, and my father would have been more alone.
I have written a long time.
I would like to summarize what kind of person
my father was.
・My father tended to be more conscious of his differences from others by obtaining a driver’s license.
Drinking alcohol while working meant that he did not value his job, and he thought he could lose his job at any time.
Of course, if he lost his job, his family would be impoverished, but he had no time to think about that.
→My father was at the end of his rope.
・My father was a very strong man.
He drank and smoked an unusual amount of alcohol, but his body never broke down.
・My father was lucky.
He was not caught driving drunk.
・My father was either kind or didn’t have the guts to speak up.
He lacked the ability to negotiate.
・My father was an unpretentious man.
He liked simplicity.
As I said at the beginning, I don’t think my father is a nice person.
But the next time I see my father, I would like to give him words of sympathy for his hardship.